oh yeah I totally forgot to add title

Yyyyyyyyyyyyeah, so here I am *makes an awkward comeback*. I know it's been four months since my last post and I supposedly promised to post more often, but... well... urm, yeah, HERE I AM THOUGH.

Been busy ever since school started. Oh, right, I'm not in school anymore, uni that is. That's unfortunate though, I'd be happy to go back to the 10th grade, life was fun, unthinkably beautiful girls all around, everything was great back then. But now I'm in teh universities, where old people like me hang out. But oh well, I got into the RISEBA Institute of Architecture and Design (as they call it now). Everything lecture wise is in English, atmosphere is kind of good, homeworks are large too. Right now I need to make a pavilion on a given site plan (which happens to be the front of our faculty building, fun). One thing I do have noticed though, I've gotten into more things now that are not or minimally connected to architecture since I started studying. Is that good? I've always liked diversity and I do appreciate it.

The best thing about studying at uni is that I get to go through old Riga every day, I specifically take a route over the Vanšu bridge and through the old town just to breathe some of that great old town air. I love visiting it every single day. Especially when I have time to have breakfast or dinner there. Too bad I didn't go to school near the old town, that would've been so great, I could imagine going to have a dinner in some cozy place during a break.

Oh yeah, my exams went very well back then. I was afraid I might miss both of them though, firstly I couldn't find the RISEBA building as it was hidden in a cave or something, it took me 20 minutes to find it with GPS, good thing I had some time reserve so I made it on time. On the second day I went out with time reserve too. Little did I know that I forgot the receipt for the exam. Went solid 20 minutes to my trolley stop, went into the trolley and right when I was standing there inside the trolleybus, I realised I had forgotten the receipt at home. So I ran that distance back home, took the receipt and ran back to the stop, all of that in +30°C. Luckily for me I ran back on time to another trolley which I got into, was sweating like a BOSS, all the way to the uni and inside. There were a lot of people there, I was the only one that was covered in sweat lol. It looked awkward, I realised that before I went in there, I knew that I had wet patches all over my shirt, but not a single fuck was given that day. I did get a nine for the exam, I was very surprised, but didn't get into the scholarship group.

I actually don't know what else to write now, I'm sitting here with my sketchbook open and writing down some ideas. I'm also planning on visiting the UK on Christmas, he he. Though I'd much rather spend Christmas at home. I love Riga.

A New Era

Am I back?

Nonchalant my great fans, there is still some life in the veins of this blog on the great Internet. My life has changed drastically throughout this half a year and I think it's time to finally start all over again and continue blogging my ass off. I won't get into the details of exact changes, but you, oh the great ones (my fans, readers and worshipers), will notice the changes in my posts and my language (that's probably because I've gotten pretty rusty in this Inglizh language).

So, to shape up my English and talk about some more useless stuff, I'll start blogging once again. My previous posts were just too good to leave them dying of lonesome here. I've really got no idea when my next post is due, but I've come here to try my best... So maybe this year. In the mean time I've got to start finally drawing at home, but that's what I've been saying for past howmanymonths. Gotta man up and finally start doing it. Been there, done that. Tomorrow, really. I'm pretty weak at making myself do something, that isn't good, now is it? I've got some portraits in mind by the way, just got to ask permission (who am I kidding?) and the road is clear.

By the way, I ran into a father of one of my classmates the other day and it was one of the most awkward moments in the history of time. We greeted each other, shook hands, he asked me how the holidays are for me, I answered "good" and asked him that same question back, he also replied with that same answer. So we just stood there and stared awkwardly somewhere and didn't say a word. I kind of shifted away with some nodding, but that was really awkward as hell, let me tell you.

All right, I was hoping this would be a-couple-of-lines-post, but... oh well, that's that. I'm coming back someday soon, so this kind of was a reunion (?) post. YAY for illogical sentences.




- X

King's Speech

What a shit ending this day has. I feel used, guilty for everything yet everything's still so incomprehensible. What is going on with me and everything around me is still beyond me, is waiting and doing nothing the answer? Give me a sign.

Merry Chrihchrchristmas

A very very very long time has passed since I last wrote something here. To be honest, I don't even know if I remember how to, but I'll try and give my best.

So, what were my plans for Christmas? Have the best Christmas ever, of course. What I got? The best Christmas ever (the sweetest ones nonetheless) and a History of Art book. Now THAT is awesome. Another cool fact is that I rode a snowmobile, yeah, a snowbolie (did I just write that? I meant snowmobile...). The experience was just like back in the day when I and my cousin went to go karts ride. I was scared stupid at first, but when I got to handle the wheel of the machine, everything simply changed 180°.

But of course, you can't go a day without my mood swings. Even if it's supposed to be the happiest and the closest day on Earth, I'm still going to find a way how to ruin it, that's just bad. I find myself hating myself so very often lately (well, not only lately).

For next Christmas I think I should create X (almost wrote my name there) starters pack that would include Faust, The Dark Knight, Hammock's "Raising Your Voice... Trying to Stop an Echo", Slow Dancing Society's "The Sound of Lights When Dim", Jaytech's "Everything Is OK" and Lights Out Asia's "Eyes Like Brontide" album. I would probably vary it with some more nostalgic things, but for now, that's the starters pack (I for one want to include The Mighty Ducks trilogy, but hmmmm). That's why I should probably get on my ebay and amazon and start ordering things. And saving up some money for Christmas presents.

All in all these were probably the best Christmas holidays I've ever had. Not just because I actually got my first Christmas present, but just for the fact of it that I spent them with the people I wanted to spend them with (and one special).

For the rest, I could sum everything that's been going up in my life with a few words- busy, busy, studies, drawing. As my drawing teacher once said, I should find some time for myself, he was probably right. But there are some good things from this after all, I finally finished reading the Dante Club, finally watched Coffee and Cigarettes that i was trying to watch for like a hundred years and read Animal Farm by George Orwell and the Stranger by Albert Camus. Now I'm reading Mikhail Bulgakov's "Master and Margarita", it's really good to be honest, I think I should look more into Russian literature. But next stop- J.D.Salinger's "Catcher in the Rye"... oh, who am I kidding? it's probably Franz Kafka.

Naturally Artificial

That past weekend was the greatest weekend in my life. Yes, I know you've heard it somewhere already, but that's the truth. Now, I won't go deeper (no pun intended) into details, but let me just say this- Pancakes. Those were the best pancakes I've ever eaten. Seriously, I can't take any credit on making them, but those were some seriously delicious pancakes. More than just delicious. Next time I'll definitely try them out with cream/ maple syrup. Yup, I had the chance to eat them with the syrup, but I was more intrigued by the jelly type thingy I got as a gift ^^

So, back to my usual depressed and melancholic blog posts. My autumn break is coming to an end, it felt really empty when someone went to Brussels. And, as much as I love flying, I think I won't fly alone ever again. I can't stand the feeling you get when you leave the one you love behind alone and visa versa. So from now on, I won't be the lone crusader of my dreams in the clouds. We'll be the two member gang, like Bonnie and Clyde, up there, dream high. Higher than any of the skies and spheres combined together. Higher than the observatory eyes can see.

I've been reading the Dante Club with a bigger intensity now, since I've got break and some spare time. I've read about 2/3 of it already, it seemed pretty impossible a while ago. And, yeah, I just went on to read it now and also I slept for a few hours. Great. That would be great if I hadn't forgotten what I wanted to write.

Oh yes, have you ever gotten that crazy feeling when you're missing somebody? Really, really missing. Well, I get that feeling very often, VERY. And when you're sad because of that, the only thing that would cheer you up, at least for a bit, is 'I miss you too' from the other side. Instead, you get a pretty juicy laugh at you and a sentence that they don't have time to, let me put it this way- think about you. That's juicy. And heartbreaking. I really want to know the feeling when somebody misses you, if it's just a minute or two, I think I would give up everything to know the feeling when somebody needs you more than anything... And of course I had to screw everything up by making a fucking argument scene. I feel so moronic now.

The ...th NBA season started. Long awaited season of unbelievable bawfulness is here again. The Raps have such high hopes coming into the season... for drafting Kyrie Irving. Yay, another rebuilding year, this is gonna be so fun. The first two games were great tbh. Nothing THAT spectacular, but all-around great. DeMar finally got the ball in the second game, made some nice pull-up j's, his mid range game looks like is coming along this year, and had some great reverse layups, dare I say MJ style??? Oh and he loves that spin move, doesn't he? Amir still needs to learn how not to foul out in 5 minutes, Sonny is somewhere there too... Really anticipating the debut of Ed Davis, does he have what it takes? (imagine Jordan's slow and momentum vise voice there). And the Aussie guy, yeah, the Aussie guy has been really great so far since the preseason. David Andersen, or more like David Aussiesen. Yeah, he has long hair. ^_^
Young Gunz, or should I say Young Onez haven't gotten off just yet, I don't see THE spirit as of yet. And last but not least, I hope Turk will do bad in Phoenix (he got invited to the block party last night). So, yeah, let's leave it there for now.


Good God...

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. With some fear. Not knowing what will happen at the airport is painful, will I get slapped, tossed around, hugged and kissed, and told upon that I was missed or somebody will be seriously pissed off at me because I just wanted to hear that someone needs me (most likely)? Welcome to my life.

A Lack Of Color

Have you ever dreamed about an ideal place with no regrets and no answers to the questions that do not exist? I, for one, have. And I dreamed about the place not existing. So, in reality, this place exists as a matter that doesn't exist. Yet it exists.

Was thinking about colours the other day. Yet again came to the conclusion that I can see them. They don't come on their own, forcing their way in and showing themselves to me. No, they don't do that. But I have no problem asking them to come, imagining them. This might sound a bit weird, but I can almost see them. I can almost hear it, the melody that comes with colours. Colours that have names only of their own.

So my school started for the 12th time this time round. And yep, you guessed it, nothing new is happening or has happened. It's the same thing for 12 straight years, my life seems to be stuck on an endlessly repeating loop. Just like Donnie Darko's tangent universe, only with no real meaning. Got my first marks already and I'm not that keen on that "3 straight 9s" start. Might be a bad sign.

Don't know why, but I've gotten really into classics now, especially basketball classics. Ordered 'The Life Of Pete Maravich', now watching some classics from him, Jordan and, of course, yours truly- Steve Nash. Still have a long way to go, so many classics to watch, so many basketball players still to learn about. I wonder if there's any Alex English video out there, hmmm.
Also, finally took up drawing lessons, it was about time I'd do it. My teacher is a great guy, should be a great course over the upcoming year. I hope I can keep it up with the proper drawing techniques (as I don't believe in good drawing). I still have got to draw that drawing that I'll have in my house. The Modern Future.

And don't you just love those random inspiration moments you get at a random point of the day? So much can be done in such a tiny and briefly moment. In 8 minutes you can achieve things you couldn't do in 8 hours. That feeling is indescribable, just like flying only with random things and images popping into your head. The best things in this world simply can't be described. Yet again, does this world have all of the best things? Everyone experiences these moments, each and every one. Only thing that differs for each and every one is time of them appearing. Don't loose any hope, they will come. Your time just might be somewhere further, but it's definitely there. Just like those August stars told me in August, there's always a hope.

Never Never Land

That picture saying "Approach everything new with curiosity, not with fear" might be the cornerstone of my approach to things. Really, it has changed so much ever since I saw it. Haven't updated my blog too often(that's because I was visiting the UK for a moment), but it's been so right each and every time. First of all, it's definitely flying. Never would I think that it's such a great feeling. Really. Of course, at first I was all nervous and everything but since I got into the plane it all changed. From the moment of liftoff, it was just surreal. I simply hate landing, because I'd much rather be up there than down here. The feeling you get by being right on top of your dreams, of your fluffy dreams, being up there in the blue, higher than anybody, in the freedom you've never ever enjoyed before. Those are just some of the hings that make flying so... flying-like. In all seriousness, I feel better in a plane than in any car, bus or trolley.

And secondly, it's the approach I only understood when I had to leave. For the time being there, I approached everything negatively (yeah, I know, I'm that kind of a guy), just when I got out and traveled a bit more I understood the false approach I was having. As much as I wanted to go home in the beginning, I also wanted to feel the vibe of the British big cities. And yes, I loved them (Manchester & Leeds). When I was there, a track kept playing in my head which now is officially the anthem of the two cities :) I also loved Manchester-Leeds train journey, I think I'll never forget it. Really never.



I feel that I've got so much to write, but I just don't know what to write, lol. I fell in love with Dr. Pepper and Lilt which we don't have down here. Awesome. I also finally visited my first comic book shop in Leeds and got a nice pair (well, not pair actually, because I did get three of them) of graphic novels. Moar awesome. And I bought some of the English books I've been anticipating for some time, ha, yes, even Alfred Lord Tennyson's poetry. I loved English shopping as much as I hated it. It was certainly different. Didn't get the much wanted SLR, of course and also, didn't get any picture of Leeds, dammit. No worries, that's a reason to visit it again, I think. And I still have to take you to a ride on the wheel of Manchester.

Imagine if you could become an apple

I once again got convinced that there's definitely love from the first sight. And, yes, I experienced it once again. This time it wasn't a human being... That was a DSLR camera. Yeah, you read that right. I just lost my DSLR camera virginity and it was... AMAZING. I'm definitely getting one for myself now. Digital photography has always caught me up and now the satisfaction is at its very peak.

Watching the FIFA World Cup at the moment and I've gotta say that it's something really special. Yup, my love to footie is still alive.

I just can't resist and not write about those inspirational moments I often get. I just love them too much, it's like the time slows down and you get that slow motion feeling of everything that's going around you. If you catch the momentum at the right time, you're the most powerful being in the world. Nothing can stop me and you then. Nothing.
When those moments arrive, I simply love listening to atmospheric and harmonic melodies whether it's piano, midi keys, guitar chords or whatever. While doing that, I also love drowning my emotions and everything that's on my mind in poetry. I just love it. And that's what I do.


The cool video got taken down so I had to settle with this one. Don't mind the picture.

Naughty By Nature

Something has caught my mind. Something very very serious has caught my mind. This feeling is just indescribable...
Have you ever experienced your heart itching, your belly twitching, feeling all fuzzy, sun shining through the window, smiling all over your face and realising that you're the happiest person alive?
Raise it by infinity and you've got my current condition. It's unbelievable... All of a sudden I'm feeling motivated to become the greatest person alive (even greater than Steve Nash(the most ridiculous man in the world)), my joy and happiness is beyond indescribable, my mind is going through periods of numbness, teardrops slowly rolling down my cheeks, I get the feeling that my heart is going to melt any second now and I finally realise that sky is not the limit.
I've come to the conclusion that the closest title of describing it is- indescribable.

Everyone gets this feeling almost once in their lifetime. And when you get it - don't waste a damn second of it. Enjoy it. Once the feeling gets you, you'll understand what I'm talking about here. Maybe it's not making much sense here, but someday it will. Just wait for it.

Also, I think I've got an answer to the question of my lifetime: "What happens when you fall in love?"
What happens is - You become silly, dummy and foolish. And what can I say? - It's all true.

If only I could stay at home this summer. With you. Home sweet home. I don't like England, I think I never will, but even there nothing will stop me thinking about you, dreaming about you, calling you. You'll have the best summer ever, I'll have the shortest summer ever just so I can come home as soon as possible and hug you the fluffiest way possible. Then I will look you in the eyes and... smile. The happiest moment of my life will feature only the two of us. Only you and me.

Do those lines contain any symbolism? Maybe.

Moth

Something happens when something has to happen. That's all there's to it.
My dilemma is killing me as of late. My life long dream or my newly obtained wish?
Toronto or Melbourne.

Huskies or kangaroos.
Eskimos or crocodile Dundee.

I do love huskies though.
I also love design and my happiness being fulfilled.

Thinking, suddenly not that easy anymore.